You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
