I'm drive I can fine osifer
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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