It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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