Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
