HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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