When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
