how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
