I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's official drugs can't kill me
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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