I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
