It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
