I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize