so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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