I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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