drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
