well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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