New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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