I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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