South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
