Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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