Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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