Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
