You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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