My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I need to stop coming to work sober
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
