I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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