His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
