I could make wine with my vomit
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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