We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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