I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
