So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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