i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
