Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize