break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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