I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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