dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
