i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
