Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
