dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize