Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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