Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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