I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
