I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
