i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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