this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
