i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize