Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
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one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.