I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.