Dude i fell asleep inside of her
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.