it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
