you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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