Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
