im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
