soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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