ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
