i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome