Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize