Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?