One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"