im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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