im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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