shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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