I wanna bring you to show and tell
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
