My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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