why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
