I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
